hi baby boy!

Dear Ryder.
i apologizing for writing this too late.

On April 22nd, 2011, you were born!
the night before, my water broke. i was getting ready for bed and you decided you wanted to come out and join me.
i packed up the rest of our stuff and drove myself to the hospital.
we were admitted of course, and i wasn't going to go home without my little baby!
the contractions hurt mommy, so i got the most wonderful thing, to feel it less.
at around 4:30 PM, the next day they told mommy that you were going to come out of my belly, FROM my belly.
they prepped me for surgery.
i was put to sleep, so i wasn't able to meet you until two hours later, but the doctors took really good care of you while mommy was cleaned up.
you were screamin your lil lungs out until the moment mommy held you. you opened your eyes and looked at me and all was right in the world.
we spent the next two days getting to know one another and bond and snuggle and recover.
ha, and i thought i loved you then!

in a little over a week, baby, you will be turning three months old.
your first few weeks were rough.
you didn't like the formula you were on so you screamed all the time, and mommy wasn't sure why. we switched you to something new, and you calmed down a lot.
you breast fed for a week, but then you got lazy and didn't want to work for your food anymore.
you began smiling in your sleep and i always wondered what you were dreaming about.
you've never seen your crib because you always slept in bed with mommy!
you loved your glow seahorse SO much, that within two months, the batteries needed replacing.

you have grown so much little man.
you now stay awake most of the day and sleep most of the night.
you are absolutely FASCINATED with your hands and are content just playing with them, or chewing on super bear.
you know who daddy is, you'll stare at his pictures, and wake right up when he calls because you hear his voice. he can't wait to meet you!
you wiggle and squirm and you have rolled over once already!
you have FINALLY gotten into size one diapers, becaue you have such a teeny butt.
and you're long.

your smile, it's the best smile in the world. it melts my heart.
i love hearing your giggling or talking, you're such a happy baby, aside from the temper tantrums. and i just love looking at you, i love holding you. i love everything about you.
and i wouldn't have you any other way!

almost time!

hi baby boy, this is mommy.
and i know now why you didnt want to come out last week when daddy was home.
that penis must have been very scary huh? lol.
its okay, thats what made you baby boy!
everything is all ready for you to come into this world, even though daddy is far far away.
all that's left is to dilate mommys cervix and have contractions.
which i don't think you'll like, but they pop you out!
but you must be a long baby because you're all the way head down and you're STILL killing my ribs.
did you feel commander reseter poke your noggin today??
and i can't wait to snuggle yous. and bring you home to mommy and daddy and Ryders house.
i'm already tired from you little man, so you might as well come and see the world!
sometime in the next two weeks, you will be in my arms, all wrapped up tight, and watching daddy on Skype.
see you soon baby!


love, mommy.

our little boy???

uhm, hello little baby.
you now have a PENIS. 
mommy was shocked, i thought i was having a little girl.
a baby girl i had bonded with for the past 10 weeks.
you are now, a baby boy.
Michael Ryder Nelson Junior.
just like daddy.
what an adjustment!!

time has flown!

hi baby girl, mommy loves you.
time has gone by so FAST since we found out about you.
in only less than 2 months, mommy gets to hold you, and kiss you, and love you forever and ever and ever.
like that hasn't already happened. <3
you have been growing SO much and wiggling and kicking me, it kind of hurts!! i would like it if you stayed out of my ribcage, that isn't very nice!
but i have concluded you take after daddy, hyperactive, ALWAYS moving.
daddys family is in town and mommy doesnt like them and they made her sad tonight.
i think that's why you havent moved too much today. except scootched into my ribs again, but i think you're just trying to get closer to my heart and make me feel better huh?
thought so!
tomorrow we get to see you, tiny baby.
and i am SO ready to see how big you're growing. and filling up my tummy.
we will find out if i get to have you the normal way or the ouchie way.
either way, as long as it gets you out of my belly and into my arms, I'm happy!
it will be just me and daddy in the room tomorrow so you don't have to be a stinker and not cooperate for meanie people!
you don't have to worry, i promise.
i will write you a letter tomorrow and tell you how big you've gotten.
and how close you are to being in the outside world, little tiny baby girl!!!!

love always,
mommy.

new home!

my darling daughter.
daddy and i moved into our new home last week, the home i will be bringing you home too.
you have your very own room, and even bathroom. you're not even here yet!
spoiled little cowgirl, we love you so.
we also found out that we get to see you again!
however, thats not always a good thing. =[
when mommy went to her last class, her doctor told her she had Placenta Previa.
meaning that my placenta, what's holding you, is low. and it could cause blockage of my cervix, meaning, i couldn't have you naturally, i would have to have a Cesarean Section.
that scares mommy a little bit because that's major surgery, and a lot longer in a recovery time.
my heart aches for daddy to be able to be there with me.
but unless you make your appearance a little more than a month early, sadly, he will not be. 

daddy leaves on Monday for a 5 week field training ops, and will be away from you and me.
it makes mommy sad, she really does love daddy, and hates being without him!
you have been moving around soo much lately and he just loves feeling you move all around in mommys belly.
you like it best when his bare tummy is pressed against mine and he rocks us. 
and when you randomly kick him, or poke him, he pokes you back.
he's already so in love with you baby girl. i know it tears him to pieces knowing he wont be able to be here for us when you're born.
and yes, it's going to be very difficult for mommy on her own.
we know that you're worth it. i just want you to know what all I'll be going through when you enter this crazy world.
and one day when you're older i hope you understand and appreciate what all i had to do.
you are going to be one tough, strong, little girl.
you already are, inside of mommy. 
it'll be okay. just know, very very much, that we both love you more than you can ever imagine. 
 and when daddy comes home, it will be an even more emotional and precious gift for him to hold you for the first time.


love always, mommy.