whatever happens.

my dearest Lyvia or Mikey,

tonight wasnt a good night for mommy and daddy. alot of things are changing way too fast, and the things that really need to change, are not. mommy is really unhappy, and isn't being treated as well as she should be.

no matter what happens, wherever life takes us, as a family or just me and you, please know that whatever happens, i love you. i have loved you since the moment i found out i was carrying you. i love you through thick and thin and you gave me strength. even has a little itty bitty one stil growing in my tummy, you have given me the strength no one ever has been able to give me. you and me, we're the strongest there is baby. whenever i get upset, or scared, or lost and confused, i always hold my belly, i reach out to you. i feel your little wiggles and kicks and i cant help but smile, a little me, growing inside.

this world is a crazy one. there's alot of hurt. I'm going to save you from all that i can until you have to have hurt of your own. i will do all that i can for you baby, from now until the end of time. you will always come first, youre my life. you're the only reason i wake up every morning, just knowing that it's one day closer to seeing your scrunched up little face, i cant wait to meet you.

love, mommy.

18wks; 6 days.

hello little baby, mommy loves you!
only one more week and we are at our halfway point.
but of course thats only if you decide to stay inside mommy that long.
i'm hoping to meet you sooner than that!!
lately i have been able to feel your wiggling around in my belly.
and little tiny kicks.
you made my tummy pop out this past week and daddy and i had to struggle to get mommy into her ball gown, but with a little elastic we made it work.
mommys belly is so cute.

you seem to lke the Marine Corps, little one.
are you going to grow up and be a Marine like mommy was going to be, like daddy is?
he's our hero isn't he?
i played a Marine cadence for you with my earbuds with you in my tummy and you moved around, just like you did during the ball ceremony.
we find out if you're a little girl or a little boy in 2 weeks!!
even though i keep having dreams you're a girl.
mommy and daddy cant wait!!!